I’ve been having a hard time recently with things, you know. Stuff like life and school and the future and love. Everything has been a chaos inside of my head and I can’t seem to calm myself down. I often overthink things too much that I just drop everything down and hold my head with both hands as I start questioning my entire existence. It’s so bad. I don’t wish it upon my worst enemies.
So, I am on holidays right? Oh no I’m not, I should spend the entire time studying for my finals which are due in June. I should be using my time wisely and to the best of my advantage, which is exactly what I have been planning to do. But since I am having a mental breakdown every one or two hours it’s kind of hard for me to maintain my motivation and keep my work going. Add to that the constant battles that I’m continuously fighting with myself. My mum is going away soon. For 2+ months. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I can’t cook and I can’t eat fast food and I can’t sleep on my own. And I don’t want to stay alone with my dad. It’s complicated to explain but my father is not someone easy to be around. You just can’t be too casual when he’s around. The next few months are going to be hell, I can already tell. Oh, and there’s this guy who I should already be over, like three years ago, but still I find myself stalking him on Facebook every other five minutes.
That has been my life recently, it’s a lot of fun, isn’t it?
My question is, how do you keep things bottled up? How do you deal with such a situation? Because I’ve had enough of my shit and I don’t know how much of this I can take. It would literally be so nice if I could just turn this madness that’s going on and on and on inside of my head down so I can have some peace. It’s too much!